


Doubt the Stars

by MizushimaHikari



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Aaron should talk less and smile more, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Character Death, Cute, F/M, Family, First Dates, Hurt/Comfort, Stars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-30
Updated: 2016-07-30
Packaged: 2018-07-27 14:39:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7622545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MizushimaHikari/pseuds/MizushimaHikari
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A look at how Aaron learned to understand the stars.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Doubt the Stars

~Nebula~

It was night, and Aaron was walking Theo back to her dorm in Mathey College. They had just gone on what he considered a perfect first date. He had taken her to their university’s art museum, then an elegant Mediterranean restaurant, and finally The Bent Spoon for dessert. As they strolled back, Aaron couldn’t help but marvel at the wonderful girl who was holding his hand. Theo was friendly and witty and just so, so genuine. It was as if she embodied every good thing in the world. His mind repeatedly played, “She’s holding your hand she’s holding your hand…”

Once they reached her dorm, Theo stopped and pointed at the sky. “Whenever I’m stressed, I just look at the stars, and I feel at peace,” she said with a gentle smile. 

Dazed, Aaron said the first thing he could think of that was related to stars. “By the time the light from the stars reaches us, the stars it came from have probably already died.” 

Theo gaped at him in horror. “How could you say such a thing?!” she accused. 

A moment too late, Aaron realized he had said something egregious. “I’m so sorry for saying that, Theo.” 

“Just look at them, Aaron! Aren’t they beautiful?” Theo cooed as she looked back up. 

“Yeah, they are,” said Aaron absentmindedly. He tilted his head up and pretended to admire the stars, but his eyes were focused on Theo herself. Maybe he couldn’t appreciate the stars, but he could see that Theo loved them. 

 

~Protostar~

It was night, and Aaron and Theo were meandering down Nassau St, reminiscing about their undergraduate years. They passed by familiar stores and restaurants as well as adorable couples. They felt like undergraduates again. 

Aaron and Theo, however, were no longer undergraduates. Aaron had already begun to bald. Theo was cradling her clearly pregnant belly. After college, they went to law schools in different states. Somehow, they stayed together over the years and over the distance. After law school, Aaron and Theo miraculously found jobs in Princeton, near Aaron’s hometown. They had married in an understated ceremony and were happy to start their lives together as professionals and soon-to-be parents. 

As the couple wandered down memory lane, they stopped in front of Mathey College. Theo grabbed Aaron’s hand and gestured up towards the stars. “Remember our first date?” she asked with a mischievous smile. 

“How could I forget?” Aaron replied. “We went to the art museum and then had dinner. You were wearing a lacy white dress. I was thrilled to hold your hand.” 

Theo giggled and hugged him. “You’re cute. Actually, I was wondering if you remember what you told me when we walked back,” she pressed. 

“No, I don’t,” he admitted. 

“I told you I liked looking at the stars, and you pretty much told me the stars are dead,” she teased. 

Aaron remembered. He still couldn’t believe he had said something so stupid. “I’m so sorry,” he apologized, completely genuinely. 

Theo nudged his side lightly. “Silly, I’m just playing with you. I think that story’s hilarious. Anyway, aren’t the stars beautiful tonight?” 

He glanced up. Yes, the stars were pretty, but they weren’t exceptionally pretty. He said, “Yes, they’re but not are splendid as you.” 

She pointed at one rather bright star and said, “Look, sweetheart! That’s our baby girl. She’s a twinkle in the sky!” 

Under his breath, Aaron muttered, “The saying is ‘a twinkle in your eye,’” but he stared at that star. It seemed to wink at him. 

“That’s our girl,” Aaron agreed. 

 

~Main Sequence Star~

It was night, and the Burrs were taking a walk on Princeton’s perfectly maintained campus. As usual, Aaron and Theo paced down the streets, side by side, holding hands. This time, a little cherubic girl was perched on Aaron’s shoulders. They were a picture-perfect family. 

When their dear Theodosia came into the world, she cried, and it broke Aaron’s heart. When she at last smiled, his heart melted. Nothing else mattered more than her – not his prestige, not his ego, nothing. Even though domestic life was never quite his style, Aaron wanted to dedicate every day to his family. Against his former values, he began to work more reasonable hours at the law firm, so he could come home early, prepare dinner with his dear wife and child, and enjoy Theodosia’s fleeting childhood. 

Aaron and Theo couldn’t wait to show their daughter their alma mater. Once the stars aligned, they planned a weekend retreat. It was a huge success; little Theodosia thought all the buildings were pretty, and she was happily wearing a Princeton hoodie and a tiger tail. 

They were walking back to their hotel when Theodosia suddenly cried out, “I wanna see that!” and pointed at Mathey College. Aaron and Theo, ever the indulgent parents, took her there. 

Theodosia gurgled, “Pretty…” when they reached Blair Arch, the front of the dorm. The family stood in silent reverence for a few minutes until Theodosia waved her itty-bitty hands at the sky and squealed, “Daddy, look!” 

He looked and saw nothing besides the stars. “What is it, sweetie?” he asked. 

“Look there!” she insisted. 

Aaron studied the stars until he saw a cluster of them that looked like Pac-Man with his mouth wide open. “I see it,” he told Theodosia. 

“It’s Mr. Ham!” his daughter chirped. 

How on earth did she look at THAT and see his loudmouth colleague? Well…it did look like Alexander Hamilton. Kind of. Aaron tried to suppress a chuckle and failed. 

Theo shot him a stern glare. “Aaron, do try to be a better influence on Theodosia.” However, she, too, could not conceal her amused grin. 

The family stood under the stars. The world was wide enough. In fact, it was more than enough. 

 

~Red Giant~

It was night, and Aaron and his daughter stood at the entrance of Princeton Cemetery. They gripped each other’s hand, afraid to let go. The emptiness beside them engulfed their very beings. 

Today had been Theo’s funeral. It had all happened so quickly. She had never been very healthy. No one – not even Theo herself – thought much of it when she had stomach pains. It stunned everyone when the doctor told them that she had stomach cancer, and that it had already metastasized to her lungs, liver, and brain. 

Theo’s last few weeks zipped by much, much too quickly. Whenever the family was miraculously able to prepare for the unimaginable, Theo wrote Aaron and her daughter letters for when she was … for the future. Sometimes, when she had a good day, the family went for long walks at twilight and tried to remember the happy times. 

Most of the time, though, they stayed home and cried. 

Theodosia “Theo” Prevost Burr died two weeks ago. Even though he had begun to make funeral arrangements, Aaron was so overwhelmed by logistics that he was numb. Now, the realization that his dear wife was dead struck him. 

“She’s gone…” he murmured as he and Theodosia drifted through the streets of Princeton. They paused in front of a familiar arch when Aaron fell to his knees, crushed by reality. He covered his face with his hands, surprised that his cheeks were already damp with tears. 

“Daddy?” Theodosia prompted. “Daddy, you have to get up.” 

She sounded so much like her mother. Aaron kept sobbing into his hands. 

“Daddy,” Theodosia tried again, her voice more soft. “I miss Mom too, but she’s still here with us. She told me that she’s watching from the stars. I’m sure she wants to see us be happy. Look at the sky! Don’t you see her?” 

Aaron stopped crying and looked up, his vision still blurry. Why was he glaring up in vain?! He knew he wouldn’t see his precious Theo in the stars. Damn the stars for mocking him, for revealing their secrets to Theodosia and not to him. He wanted nothing more than to stargaze and feel something – anything – besides despair. 

He started to weep again. 

 

~White Dwarf~

It was night, and Aaron Burr stood in front of his deceased wife’s grave, holding a bouquet of rainflowers. He placed the bouquet in front of the tombstone and whispered, “I’m so sorry, my love. I couldn’t protect her.” 

He left the cemetery and ambled along the streets alone, turning his head away from anything and everything that reminded him of his wife or daughter. Unfortunately, since Theodosia, like her parents, was a Princeton student, he had taken her to practically every store and restaurant in the vicinity. He focused on the cracks in the pavement and attempted not to think about his missing daughter. 

Theodosia Burr, a junior at Princeton, had been studying abroad in London. Aaron hadn’t seen her in four months and was thrilled to see her again. The day she flew back home, he went to the airport hours before her expected arrival. 

When he got to the waiting area, he realized something was terribly wrong. On the television was breaking news that an airplane had been lost at sea. To his horror, Aaron recognized the plane as the very one Theodosia was on. 

Aaron couldn’t believe it. He stayed at the airport until security asked him to leave. Every day after that, he checked every news website he knew of, every hour or so, hoping that they would find survivors. But it was useless; they found nothing. 

Months after the incident, Aaron was at Princeton University, struggling to grasp that he would never see Theodosia again. He stumbled across campus, bewildered that life had simply taken away everyone he loved. He ended up in front of Mathey College, the residential college of his wife and his daughter. 

In a fit of utter hopelessness, Aaron fell down on the grass, flat on his back. He stared at the dark emptiness of sky, punctuated by stars. 

And for the first time, he saw Theo and Theodosia in the stars, waving down at him. 

And for the first time in a long time, Aaron smiled. He felt at peace.

**Author's Note:**

> Once upon a time, I told a friend that I liked stargazing, and he told me the stars were dead. I’m still salty about that >.> Anyway, I can’t believe that silly comment turned into this story. Hope you liked it! 
> 
> Title is from Hamlet, where Polonius is reading a love poem Hamlet wrote for Ophelia. As complex and as self-interested as Aaron is, I’ve never doubted that he loved his family. 
> 
> I got the idea of Aaron calling his wife and daughter different names from Wuthering Heights (Catherine/Cathy).


End file.
